Liar Liar
Do you remember when did you first tell a lie ? I am sure , it’s difficult to remember for most of us , as it started even before we understood what is lying and much before we learned it was a vice.
White lies , black lies , wretched lies , mean lies …name them and all of us at some time in our life have lied in one or more of the above hues. Lies, as harmless as a centipede have been erased from our memory effortlessly, while some venomous ones lie as coiled Vipers in our memory hideouts … still making us blue with its occasional pangs.
First, let us dwell for a moment on how we learnt to lie , ahem … for the habitual liars the word ” learn” may not tickle , but for those who abstain they may like to take it with a pinch of salt. Okay amendment , why did we on the first place start lying ?
Most of you may agree , our first lies go back to as early as 3-4 years , bordering our hazed and dusted memories of small lies to avoid our parent’s admonishing . Many of you may remember playing with cold tap water on a rainy day , barely four, and when caught and asked to admit the guilt, had lied tongue in cheek 
Here are some facts , seemingly tell-tale , from research archives. Although we think of truthfulness as a young child’s paramount virtue, it turns out that lying is the more advanced skill. A child who is going to lie must recognize the truth, intellectually conceive of an alternate reality, and be able to convincingly sell that new reality to someone else. Therefore, lying demands both advanced cognitive development and social skills that honesty simply doesn’t require. And as a natural evidence to this theory , it has been found that students who were outstandingly bright compared to their peers , started lying as early as at the age of 2-3 years. So here’s to the budding parents , if your 4 year old daughter lies with conviction , it’s a sign that she has brains .The corollary to it , if you have a smart and intelligent kid he/she is more at risk to become an habitual liar.
I think enough has been blabbed about the theory of lies , its origin , learning and unlearning . If it were this , I may as well paste a few links from research sites for your heavy reading.
It’s not , so move on .
Let us delve for a moment on the human side of lies . There are lies , we have said , enacted and lived in our lives and kept it under the wraps. As said earlier, reasons could be numerous on why you may have lied ( from fear of admonishment in the hands of parents to a royal treatment from your wives , ahem , if the lie was about your pre-marital escapades with your girlfriend 
) . A lot of times we live a few lies for our entire life , and they pass out with us at the end , untold and sometimes evading even a self confession. I wanted you to come up with such confessions on lies you have told ever since childhood , that have slipped the radar of the unassuming recipient, and yet lived to eke its presence in your minds. Why not come up with few such un-confessed ones , and proclaim them to the world … ahem … if not with pride at least for the sake of fun or even a delayed repentance . To take out the element of discomfort , I wouldn’t ask you to talk of lies ( told and untold ), that may put your personal life into tantrums , or lead to any social ignominy . Just the ones that have lost their venom with time , become sting and fang less and are harmless snippets from memory now.
I was in my 3rd Standard then , studying in a Hindu Missionary school. For those of you who would only associate missionary with the Christians, there are Hindu Missions and Missionary schools as well. DAV Public and schools run by the Bharat Sevashram Sangh are few. I studied in a School run by the latter until my 5th Standard. As with most schools of my time ,we had the First Term Exams , which used to be split into two Class Tests worth 50 marks each. These Class Tests were to be written in Exercise Books ( commonly called Copies, until I was scorned by a teacher for calling it so ) that were to be carried from home. After the test , the same were to be submitted for evaluation and finally returned back to the student.
It was a chill winter morning , and the paper with which the Unit Tests started was English Language. Essay writing and a lot of Grammar constituted the Exam Questions ( where I would be more than happy to only remember what were Nouns and Verbs and leave their “Pro” brethren for the top rankers in the class. Interjection and Conjunction are ones which I can spell only now , so I never turned the pages to reach them when in elementary .
That day the Language Paper unexpectedly went well for me (in English Language ‘well’ meant about 60% ish). Exam over, I packed my bag and ran merrily towards the school bus to get myself a seat in the cabin ( the most coveted few seats in a school bus were those ones, with heavy smell of diesel and a direct view of Driver Uncle)
Back home , I do not recollect which one, but had to prepare for another Exam the next day. Come evening, I started pulling out the English books from the bag to replace them with books for the next exam. And Lo .. there it was , a sight not really to behold , but one that sent a shiver down my spine. The English Exam Copy was popping from beneath a heap of books in my bag wheras it was supposed to be in my English Teacher’s bag, back in her home. In my euphoria of writing a decent exam, I had acted on reflex and brought the Copy back home instead of submitting it to the Teacher. Even on a winter evening , I remember breaking heavy sweat at my mega blunder. For about 15 mins , I sat quietly sweating and pondering over damage control. The biggest fear was the admonishing from my parents, some stern rebuke from my father along with nice spanking from Maa , and a whole evening of repentance over how their child was heading to only one direction …. Spoilt. For a moment, I thought of admitting my mistake in front of the Teacher , the next day. It didn’t turn out to be a great prospect , given the obnoxiously irritating ways of our English teacher with Third Benchers.
That was when the devil peeped from within the hood of fear … I had to hatch a plan , tell a lie and come out clean.
There was this guy Aniruddha Roy , failed twice in 3rd standard and the biggest bully in the class. Incidentally , I had been bullied and beaten up by him more than once in the bus over fights to get a seat in the Cabin. It had to be HIM.
I already had a pale and sweaty face to present for a disaster, and I knew I could shed tears at the opportune moment. Walking up to my mother , who happened to be in the kitchen , I stood by her side cosily. Then, offering a prayer to the God of Lies , I managed to state , in an unflinching voice , how this guy Aniruddha from my class had played the nastiest prank of the year on me. He seemingly , took the Exam Copy from me in the name of submission , and instead kept it back with him. To make a mockery of me and complete the act of vengeance he returned my Exam Copy while returning in the school bus . On top of it , he even bullied me and threatened me to dire consequences if I revealed this incident to anyone.
The cake was baked , and the icing put to perfection with some genuine tears … Some convincing wailing on how I had written a very good exam only to be deprived by this moron, confounded my mother’s belief. She in turn took it to my father and I had successfully triggered the chain.
Next day my parents were at the school , in an animated discussion with the Class Teacher on how their ward has been deceived , defrauded and above all deprived of a fair assessment
for an exam well written. Aniruddha was called , and to this day I remember the expression on his face. It was shock, bemuse, astonishment , anguish all writ in one on his bloated face. The poor guy , as much as he was a bully was poor with words, couldn’t utter a single coherent sentence. His track record which was full of complaints of misdemeanour , went against him , and soon the verdict was foregone . He was reprimanded , rebuked and asked to stand outside the Class for half a day. My Exam Copy was accepted with full honour and assessed.
So that was my story of an un-confessed lying .
PS : From that day on , Aniruddha Roy was a changed boy when it came to dealing with me. The best seat in the School Bus Cabin was reserved for me . His share of tiffin was mine so very often , and all of it with the same guy who had starved me many days by pecking on mine.
Soon though , I realized I had committed a severe offense , but before I could gather the courage and admit to Aniruddha , his father got transferred and they moved to another city. Since then , I haven’t heard of him.
If there was a way Aniruddha was reading this blog , or I could reach him through a friend of friend’s … here is my humble statement of confession and apology. Dude, it was me who had committed the wrong on that day and put you on the dock for no fault of yours. If there was anything I could send your way , it only had to be a big ” Sorry” and for once I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
Go ahead , the denizens of the blogging world , come up with your confession on lies , silly or smart , sweet or bitter, harmless or spitefull , I am sure it’ll make for good reading.
The lie lies until you bring it to light
